The end of 2017. Good riddance! For me—and I am almost certain for many of you as well—it has been a trying year. I am writing these words on the large dining room table in my parent’s home where only five days ago we were gathered 18 strong around the yearly holiday feast like a pack of hungry lions. This bit of information is important for context, because in reflection, it is around this table that I have felt both the elation of the happiest and sting of the saddest moments of my life. This table can tell stories. I am writing this because I feel a need to figure out what it is that has made this past year so particularly tough and somehow this table tells it all as witness. Perhaps, I need to share words like a meal so that I can digest and remember the shadows that have slowly crept into my peripheral vision, a slow simmer of fear and anxiety. As this new year starts I am resolved to not give into this malaise.

For me, this big heavy and clunky old-fashioned dining room is an island where I find safe anchor. I have opened my lap top on it over and over and over again— to write, to figure out what’s next, to record the conversations and to feel the warmth of the wood as I recollect the small details. These small acts I do when the table is not occupied which is most days when I am home for the holidays. The large blond solid mahogany mammoth with reddish velvet ornate high back chairs (that weigh a ton!) are only used for large gatherings, dinners with close friends and new friends. I have always found the idea of tables peculiar and intriguing. If tables could talk they’d possibly be more interesting and tell us so much more than the walls. This flat top surface where we gather seated for long periods of time is where our words are shared with one another in love, kindness, honesty and even vulnerability. It is the stage where we practise our scripts dry with the hope we will be heard and understood. We tell each other stories and recount adventures. We discuss politics... enter my large shadow stage left.

World politics and the politics of our neighbours South of the 49th parallel in particular, has caused a crack in our table. Our table has become a turbulent ocean of argumentative words with the power of disagreements that spin into full blown hurricanes. But this thought enters my mind; this big old table will be here through many more meals, to hold all our flared tempers, to bring us together in spite our differences or problems. This is the rock (or wood) that glues us to each other, always with love in spite of our own beliefs. Thankfully, good times overshadow the bad ones. Our tables are like a book or a blank canvas waiting for each of us to add our mark on them, speak a name across them, write a book on them, receive the stains and residue of lives lived and allow us the field where we attempt to understand each other.

This year lets share more meals together; plan and discuss ideas; sit in awe at the warm food in front of us; listen to each other with open hearts; find some sense we can latch onto during the unfortunate turbulence of world events; hold each other in kindness and respect no matter what; embark on adventures; speak our truths and stand up for our beliefs without ever putting down someone else’s; share more belly laughs, thoughts, dreams and maybe even make more little drawings on napkins. In 2018 I am awed at the times I have sat around this table and what these moments have taught me, love, patience, tolerance, openness and resilience— I am learning to be as big as an ocean and as small as a fish within it.

As we embark on this year ahead full of hope and we gather around with colleagues, family, friends, lovers for work, dinners, important meals, coffee, lunches, or just to reflect or jot down words; remember the vast possibilities of what is in front and across the table; the meaningful exchanges and life changing conversations around a table. In the spirit of sharing here are some little watercolours which I made during the holidays— I wish you and your loved ones a happy, healthy and prosperous 2018.

La Dance after Matisse with table. A.Keim 2017

Summer table with Ocean between us. A.Keim 2017

GOODBYE 2017...please leave your keys on the table and don't slam the door on your way out.